Chronicles of Schofield

I think it's time for a Top Ten.

But to make things really exciting I'm going to do half Top & half Un-Top.

Let the games begin...

THE TOP FIVE

These pants... sweet niblets...they are awesome. Only at a park in Tooele can you have the honor of seeing these pants. Dear homie, if by some cosmic chance in the universe you are reading my blog, please know how fabulous you are and how perfect you made my day.

Yard art- let me clarify... Gnomes, pink flamingoes, black metal cowboy sillouttes leaning up against the side of the house, twirling pinwheels, american flags, concrete ducks, bird feeders made from stacked clay pots, wagon wheels from the late 1800's, bird houses, christmas light deer with bobbing heads, cherubic angel babies cast in resin, iridescent reflecting orbs, butterfly stepping stones, plywood cutout of a lady bending over with polka dot bloomers, beware of dog signs, smurf nativities (true story), you get the picture.
They are all lovely symbols of americana in all its glory.

A good, real, give you goose bumps, now you can't sleep at night, scary story.

This face

and this face

and this face

and this face

and this face

THE UN-TOP FIVE

I'm really terrified...okay terrified is too strong of a word- I don't look forward to popping cans of biscuits. I'm afraid when the container finally pops the explosion will be so large and startling that the house will blow up. I know it's hard to understand.

I really dislike toothpaste on the countertops.

When you open a box and there's those white packing peanuts, and they stick to your hand, and no matter how hard you try to shake them off they just won't leave contact with your body.

Navigating my way around Costco on a busy day. Okay folks, this is how it's suppose to happen- I push my cart on the right side of the aisle, and you push yours on your right side. And if you want a stinkin' food sample, please don't stand in the middle of the freezer section with your nine kids blocking all us other shoppers from getting to the granola bars. Amen.

Fast-food playgrounds- not a big fan.