5SF Edition 47

FIVE SENSE FRIDAY

(The Manly Edition)

***
TASTING-

man food for a night of geek gaming

*

SMELLING-

testosterone in the disheveled living room

*

FEELING-

uuuhhhh.....

SEEING-

halo reach & modern warfare 2

*

HEARING-

Tron soundtrack by Daft Punk

***

p.s.

I Sara, was downstairs keeping my distance from the dangerous gaming men while perusing the internet for much gentler subjects like how to build a chicken coop, sea salt chocolates, and wallpaper...

I may or may not have consumed a funyun.

I like my voice

{mebilia}

God delivers messages through goosebumps.  Just a moment ago a conversation with my grandmother from last week about writing and poetry and life and missions slid into my mind.  When she said, "I like my voice" it left such a powerful impression on me that I haven't been able to forget it... like a song that plays over and over again in my head.  Grandma Mary was sharing her wisdom about growing as a writer and praying for gifts.  If you want something, if you lack a gift, pray for it she says.  Let the spirit guide you, write for yourself, and for God, don't compare yourself to others.  I asked her so many questions and she answered so many... she has always been my mentor.  I have grown through the years listening to her poetry, her songs, her stories about dragons and Joseph of Egypt.  I have recently struggled with my own voice as doubt and discouragement creep into my head.  I yearn to express what's in my heart, and I have felt with the over-abundance of writers out there, that I am but a mere whisper.  Then when she said, "I like my voice" it hit me, don't write to please "them", write just because it's who you are... let it flow, cultivate your expression, meld it into something organic, not forced.  Sometimes I feel like I'm in preschool, making sentences with a limited vocabulary... like I know something is inside of me wanting to get out, and I can't translate my emotions into human language.  I want to be able to say that "I like my voice".

***

Minutes later after I thought about my grandmother, I opened an email message from my mom saying that her dear aunt Helen, my grandmothers sister, had passed away suddenly last night.  It feels raw to talk about this, but I can't help but notice the timing of my thoughts and the way the spirit was telling me something deep and important if I would listen, and I did.  Sometimes getting answers to prayers is like retrieving broken morse code, snatching parts here and there... when at a magical moment, the dots and dashes come together to complete the whole message, making perfect sense... harmony.  My great Aunt Helen was an amazing poet.  She won many awards and was as graceful and talented as a woman could be.  She will be so missed, but we have her words, her voice.  We can carry her and visit her thoughts when we read her poems.  Because she has opened her heart and shared it in ink, we have her with us always... in that respect, writing makes you eternal. 

***

The following are some of Helen's poems taken from the book-

Bread and Milk and Music- Three Sister's Voices

by, karen keith gibson, helen keith beaman, and mary keith boyack

*

Stringing Beads

My first best friend and I searched

for treasure behind her house

Where rain dripped from eaves,

we found tiny rocks glinting in sunlight,

pieces of colored glass: rubies, emeralds,

diamonds---and bugs we held like jewels

as they rolled themselves up into beads

I see a dragonfly darting, darning

holes in my sky, stitching together

prayers and songs I sang as a child,

stringing them, knotting the ends:

pearls to present to God.

I sat with my daughter, guiding

the dull needle as she strung popcorn

She sits with her daughters threading

jewels of colored glass, boxes of rainbows.

Blackbirds, strung like onyx beads

on the power line, lift together

and scatter, the necklace breaking.

I look for pieces under my bed,

in the corners.  Fingers brush

back and forth, so I don't miss

what I cannot see.

My husband recounts stories

nospaceinbetween, linked

like paper chains on a Christmas tree

until they connect ending to beginning.

This morning he brought me

a dead dragonfly, arms fold,

wings wide to span a lifetime.

I frame it against a sky, watch,

wait for the signal to unfold,

to wing our way home.

*

Lon Grew Up

thinking he was as old

as his siblings.  He and I talk.

His kindergarten friend walks

with leg braces.  Lon watches

him go all the way across

the tricky-bars, cheers him on.

The other kids pull faces, laugh.

Hey, you just do the baby way!

Duh-duh, duh-duh---little baby!

Well, I bet you couldn't do it

if you'd had polio!  Lonnie slams

the words back at them.

His breath staggers in the telling,

throat constricts, eyes expand, hands clench.

He relives the passion.

He grew up to be a policeman--

father of three sons

and six daughters.

He has championed all of them

just like he did his friend

in first grade.

*

Missing Lines

I search for the grandmother

who died too soon to hang a memory on.

The family photograph fails to capture more

than one stark and stilted flash,

a final sitting before she was too weak

to sit, before she was---

Daddy, not yet six, stands

behind the others.  I see pain

in his face.  Bess hid his shoes,

but it's more than that.

The three sisters cluster like the Pleiades

around Grandmother's knee.

The pain in her face is because--

I search, trying to pry loose

her mask of mortality.  That shell,

closing too soon on her life,

also hides us from ourselves.

Grandchildren will scan my image,

wondering what I never knew myself.

work boots

I never thought seeing my kids in work boots would melt my heart like it does, but guess what, serious meltage.  Now if I could just acquire an affection for the smell of manure left on those workboots, then the circle of life would be complete.  Addy and Landon religiously feed their steers at 6:30am and 6:30pm... give or take a few minutes:)  I'm so impressed by their work ethic and care for these tender animals.  Without reminder, Landon replaces the steers muddy mucky water with fresh clear water even in the pitch dark, and Addy always takes time to scratch their dirty heads to gain their trust and let them know she's a friend.  Since they started taking care of them a few months earlier than last year, I'm afraid it's going to be twice as hard once auction time comes to part ways.  But how grateful I am for all the lessons they're learning, and it makes living in these long, cold, annoying winters worthwhile... almost.

tending reagan

While my sister sadie sweats it up at crossfit,

the boys and I tend reagan.

***

New things she's learned...

batman toys taste yummy,

mr. freeze's legs help soothe teething,

tade has a soft spot for babies,

aunt sara's royksopp, is not like my mama's britney...

but dance-able just the same,

charlie likes to pet me on the head,

tade is very protective of my toys,

naptime at the schofield house is noisy,

aunt sara is really pretty and cool and awesome and...

charlie wants his picture taken too.

*

conference afternoon

This is how we spent our Saturday-

Chris, despite his eyes being closed during general conference talks, always seems to be able to recount the messages with perfection... how does he do that? Aahhh, he looks so cute all tuckered out... I just want to cuddle right up next to him.

 The kids colored while listening.

 Tade was having difficulties.  Just keeping it real people.  As a side note, his name seemed to come up in every conversation I had with my friends in the days before.. I am excited to implement new things I've learned, and I know someday this "special" stage he's in will pass... it will pass right?

 It's so cool that anyone around the world can just hop on the internet and stream live feed of conference right in their home.  Every single talk today was so terrific and taught me something.  I can't wait to read them again and highlight and dissect each inspired message.

 Addy made yummy smoothies for everyone as a Saturday treat.  She has been cooking and baking so many fun things lately, perhaps I should put her in charge of a couple meals during the week...

what do you say Ad?  Looks like a yes.

The kids cousin Elaine who goes to school at BYU Idaho sang beautifully in the choir during the afternoon session.  The music during conference is equally as wonderful as the spirit felt during the talks. Elaine is in the light blue shirt on the right.

 The girls always sneak away for dinner and dessert while the guys are at the evening priesthood meeting.  Tonight we had Cafe Rio salads and Orange Leaf frozen yogurt.  I was in a fruity mood, but couldn't resist a few gummi bears.

This is me being artistic on the drive home.

good night.

5SF Edition 46

FIVE SENSE FRIDAY

***

TASTING-

eggs with parmesan and asparagus

hummus and pita chips

treats from loveys

*

SMELLING-

Addy's cinnamon crumb cake

*

FEELING-

full of life and blessed by the people in it

I just stole away to Utah for less than 48 hours and tried to fit in as many visits as I could with family and friends that I don't get to see enough of.  Lunch with Shera from Oregon City... dinner to my sister Cheri who just had her fourth child three weeks ago... dessert with some of my old card group from Lehi... overnighter and breakfast with my dear Grandma Mary... lunch with darlings from Tooele with an early owl delivery to Nancy... dinner reunion with old chums from Farmington... and a quicky peek to get inspired at forever 21, dear lizzie, hip and humble, and koo de ker. I drove home after dinner on a natural high and my cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing so much... what a great feeling!  How did I get so lucky to be associated with such beautiful people?  This is one of the perks of moving so much throughout my life... meeting amazing people, and keeping those friendships even after leaving that place.  There are so many more I wish I could have seen... next time.

 cheri and tony's cute kids

 friends from lehi at applebees

 breakfast at grandma mary's

 friends from tooele at sostanza

friends from farmington at roosters

*

 SEEING-

signs of spring awakening

green grasses pushing through last winters debris, dark silhouettes of nests and birds against the sky of setting sun, old homes awaiting new feathered families.

*

HEARING-

Oh Land

Spotted at Walmart

You just never know

what splendid items

you will encounter

 during a midnight jaunt

to Wally's World.

Nerdin' it Up

.Jason.

Isn't he adorable?! 

***

Sometimes at our house the computers and phones don't work and the internet is down.  Actually this has been happening a lot lately... I call it being "in the VORTEX".  It's as if our house is perfectly positioned within the universe on some wiggity twilight zone time continuum that makes it get similiar problems to what planes experience flying over the Burmuda Triangle.  So due to technical difficulties, I couldn't blog all weekend... but I think it was because nerdish energy was so thick in the air, I probably could have cut it with a light saber... or wifi cable... or best buy credit card... or some slow motion matrix manuever. 

***

Jason, Chris' brother from another mutha came to stay a couple days with us.  This is a chance for "the boys" (brothers and friends) to get all the geekery out of their systems.  And I don't name drop words like nerd and geek to be a meany, but rather as terms of endearment that they give me license to use freely in reference to their awesomeness.

 *

Friday night they started at Five Guys Burgers and a Heart-attack (and Fries) and then they went to a dorky man movie, I forget the name;)  The rest of the night (until 4am) was spent gaming it up at our house.  Saturday, after a semi healthy lunch created by mother hen (me) to cancel out the chips and candy consumed the night before, Chris took Jason and our two oldest kiddos shooting in the freezing cold.  I think despite this they had a fun time.  Chris is a cowboy at heart and loved trying out his new Henry Goldenboy 22.  Jason is adored by all his nephews and niece.  Charlie especially took a liking to him even with it being their first meeting.  Saturday night after dinner at Betos (pronunciation is debatable) the boys congregated once more to the xbox's while munching on homemade caramel popcorn and giant soda's.  The next morning Jason left like a thief in the night to get back in time for work in Salt Lake City.  We sure wish we saw him and his sister Alison more often, but are grateful for the sacrafice he made to drive up here and visit us... I might add, that I did sweeten the deal and bribed him with sour patch watermelons:)

 Jas.

 Papa Bear

Calamity Jane

Wyatt Earp

*

 Don't even ask me what this creepy expression is all about... yikes.

You wanna come stay with us?

Treats included.

And complimentary weird facial articulations.

Visit Jason's gaming blog here...

www.mrgameblog.blogspot.com

Breakin'

We (meaning I) have the movies Breakin' and Breakin' 2 on nearly constant replay from our Netflix queue.  If you haven't seen these gems, then you are totally missing out on some serious radness!!  Break out your spandex, studded bracelets, hi-tops, and fedoras... and prepare yourself for mindblowing story plots and fancy footwork. My goal this summer is to learn these moves... and finish reading the Book of Mormon in french.
I couldn't be more serious.
(p.s. the trailer makes it look way more scandalous than it really is...
silly hollywood.)

"Don't be mistakin', you got to see Breakin'!

Come on sucker right now!"