Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Happy Birthday Toph


Yesterday was Papa Bear’s birthday
and this is how we spent the day-
*****
First, he got to sleep in as late as he wanted-
no interruptions, phone calls, or fires to put out.
I did his laundry (which he usually does)
so he slipped into his favorite t-shirt,
jeans, and baseball hat, and feasted on a
breakfast of eggs, bacon, toast with jam,
and a chocolate donut that he loves
from the gas station.
*****
A babysitting fairy came to watch the kids
so we jumped on his sweet ride
and rumbled into town escorted by
a parade of mean motorcycle dudes.
They led us right up to the pearly
front doors of Best Buy where
the store had shut down just for his birthday.
I gleefully bounced at his side
awaiting a descriptive explanation
of how every nerdy electronic go-go gadget works.
I was smitten by his intellectual capacity and
vast knowledge of anything containing
wires and a hard drive.
I hung on his every word like it was poetry
and when I couldn’t take it anymore,
I made him kiss me right there
in the video game aisle.
*****
After much geeking out we headed
over to the movies.
With popcorn, Diet Pepsi, milk duds,
and red vines in hand
we watched all three Lord of the Rings
movies after which Gandalf showed up
and gave us a magical ride on a dragon.
*****
We high-fived a couple hobbits,
shot a couple of elvin arrows
and then got a ride in a F14
to lunch with Bono in Africa
and talk over the peace treaty he was
hammering out with world leaders.
Depeche Mode was playing a gig
in the neighboring city
and needed a guitar fill in,
So Chris stepped up and did
what he could to lend a hand.
*****
On our way to the Alaskan fishing boat
that Chris was supposed to captain,
we ran into a semi that had tipped over,
so he used his super-human strength
and put it back in it’s upright position.
Surprisingly, the semi was filled with
rolled tacos, vanilla wafers,
perfectly fitting sweatshirts, eighties music,
skill saws, red clown noses,
and the two guys from MythBusters…
it was like a party on wheels!
The two guys from MythBusters invited us
to blow up some things
So we humored them for a while
and then decided it was time to
Get the kids, and celebrate as a family.
*****
We rode a couple of elephants,
found a cure for desmoid tumors,
created Call of Duty 5, 6, and 7,
and opened a new restaurant
featuring his famous recipe
for Orange Smoothies.
*****
The highlight of the day
should have been when
Hugh Laurie presented Chris
with the Nobel Peace Prize,
but he never really shone as bright
as when he invented a way to turn
left over concrete into
a renewable source of fuel
for our mini van.
*****
Good times were had by all.
Friends and family joined us for
a giant light saber duel,
Cookie dough ice cream, water fight,
and piñatas filled with presents.
It was a right regular Texan Fiesta.
And at the end of the day
we decided that we’d move to New Zealand
And establish our own town
filled peace, love, and rainbows.
*****

Actually,
he worked yesterday,
but we fit in some yummy Mexican food
from his favorite place in Grantsville,
and played some tennis as the sun set.
Addy made him this sweet poster



Things you may not know about Papa Bear-
His two front teeth are fake.
(knocked out rollerblading when he was 19)
He has had 10 tumors and radiation 3 times.
He cries at movies and commercials.
He wants to open a ranch for troubled teens.
He hates black licorice (I love it)
He worships my cooking.
He has over 200 LOTR action figures.
He can't swear without laughing.
He can fix ANYTHING.
A female news anchor wanted his body.
He is humble as pie.
He is a secret agent and super hero.



He's pretty much the best father

a man could be to his kids.


He's pretty much the funniest person alive.



He's pretty much the coolest person
I know on this earth.


He's pretty much the hottest man alive.


Here's to many more birthday's spent together forever!

I LOVE YOUR GUTS!!!

10 comments:

Dad said...

Wow Sara....easy to see Chris is your hero, your love, and the most amazing man you know.....how perfect is that! You did right- he is the best fit for your life now and forever.

I am more than ever convinced that with your creative imagination, and way with words, and gifted talent, you should author a book. Do it!

Emily said...

for real? i didn't know that it was christian schof's b-day. i love that schof of your's sara. it just so happens that i think he's pretty rad as well, not only that but, he kicks my ham on a regular basis at just about every game ever invented.

ok, so here's the plan sariah, in october there's a little event called the "volkslauf run" (check it out on youtube). it's going to be boys against girls. hopefully there will be a schof on my team that goes by the name of chris. go ahead talk amongst yourselves but; for real you guys are coming with, and chris is going to surf with us.

thank you and goodnight
-the Smith's
p.s. happy b-day to chris.

onesilentwinter said...

happy Birthday Mr. Schofiled!!! Sara how amazingly talented you are!!!!

Devin, Megan, & Henderson said...

If I could just sum up anything like you sum up things, I would be a best selling novelist...I really think you should write a book or do something with your gift of words! It seems like your hubby is one lucky man and you are one lucky gal!!!

Cheri said...

A big Happy Bday to Papa Schofield from the Lima family.

Rachel said...

Happy Birthday Chris. I love you guys and cant wait to see you. I miss his Orange Smoothies.

Karyann said...

He is one of the cutest men alive. Cool and hip. love you guys.

bill, katie, and co. said...

Loved this post and I agree with "Dad". You really should get writing a novel. Your posts are always my favorite to read! Keep it up, girl. YOU ARE IN-SPIR-ING!

Emily said...

Yes Orange smoothies (flashback to Lehi) and Choc. chip cookies without the chocolate chips. You have to make those when you come up. Chris I love you and I am so happy you are my sisters husband. Happy late b-day!

Emily said...

Yes Orange smoothies (flashback to Lehi) and Choc. chip cookies without the chocolate chips. You have to make those when you come up. Chris I love you and I am so happy you are my sisters husband. Happy late b-day!