Chronicles of Schofield: 2009

Sunday, December 27, 2009

weekend with the waltons

low-key relaxing

addy's winter performance

dancing splendor

sizzler salad bar

confetti salsa and lime chips

early christmas

walks with tucker

reading books

xbox football

chicken noodle soup and breadsticks

"wii" will get "fit"!

thank you for rearranging your schedule to be present at the birth of our baby,
thank you for videotaping a moment that otherwise i wouldn't have seen,
thank you for keeping my hospital mug fresh with icy cold water,
thank you for bringing me tasty crackers and candy,
thank you for staying on top of my meds,
thank you for making me laugh by telling me funny birthing stories even though it hurt like the dickens in my stomach,
thank you for rubbing my swollen feet with lotion in the middle of the night,
thank you for finding a fan to bring in my room,
thank you for swaddling and taking my baby so i could get some sleep,
thank you for being the very best labor and delivery nurse in the whole wide world!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

baby feelings

After eleven years of child bearing on my brain, actually thirty plus if you count all the years before that i was dreaming of being a mother, a decision was made between papa bear and i to close up my baby making shop. This did not come easy for me despite what people say..." when you're done, you'll know you're done." One second i felt done, my body felt done, my spirit felt done... but the next moment, thinking of ending my lifes greatest accomplishment seemed like a shakespearean tragedy to me. Even up to the day before the scheduled c-section, i was feeling emotional at the thought that my body would no longer have the gift of growing life and bringing a special spirit to this earth. I was puzzled and confused by my flip-flopping when just months before when i could hardly get out of bed and take care of my family, i swore under my breath that this would be our last child... i couldn't discern if my feelings were spirit whisperings telling me i wasn't done having kids, or if the feelings were just plain and simple sad feelings and nothing else. Chris and I shared many conversations comparing the dynamics of his smaller three child family and my boisterous fourteen child family that we grew up with... what would be the perfect balance for us to provide for and love... to give the attention and thoughtful rearing that they would need to become the best of their potential someday. I imagined having at least ten children until I actually started having children and realized that my body and spirit was not made for that. It has taken some humbling moments to come to terms with who I am, and not who my mom is or who my mother in law is. I couldn't have predicted that my first child would have to come by an emergency c-section, or that with each nursing experience I would battle with re-occuring mastitis. I couldn't have foreseen the type of world my kids would be growing up in, or the challenges they would come to earth to face. Part of what I was dealing with was a guilt that I was blessed with the ability to have children in the first place, while others struggled in this area... so who was I to not take this calling to the extreme and bring as many here as I could? Chris lovingly reminded me that despite the commandment saying we should be fruitful, that we are not the "Duggars" and I do not need to pop out twenty children. I am grateful and overwhelmed to have five wonderful children under my wings, and after much prayer and the partnership of a loving spouse, we know that there are many years ahead of us that will be full of raising our family in this new chapter.

While I was in the hospital after having Charlie I took in each moment and locked it away in my heart knowing it would be my last infant moment, knowing that the next time I experienced this miracle would quite possibly be with my grandchildren. I feel such an honored reverence that I am a mother and will be forever. I feel a sisterhood with all women, child bearing and not, that we were given special gifts of sensitivity, patience, and nurturing to attend to all the special spirits in this world.

To Addison, Landon, Oliver, Tade, and Charlie...

I cherish each day that we spend together in our home and I hope someday that you have been filled with enough light and knowledge and love that you will spread your wings and fly on your own.

I love you.

Giving Thanks

the day before we were to head up to island park and partake in thanksgiving festivities with my big rowdy family, two of my boys woke up with pink eye. fabulous. i informed the head honchos of our predicament and mentioned that out of courtesy for other kids and parents we would not be coming to "spread the pinky loveliness" this year. my dad simply would not let it be, and after several phone calls back and forth, a trip to the doctor for antibiotics and convincing me that they wouldn't be contagious, we were talked into coming. he assured me that no offense would be made... dad's biggest point of influence was that the boys could wear goggles, and whats the big deal anyways, a little pink eye never killed anyone.

***

so thanksgiving morning we awoke, eyes were in the clear, bags were packed and up we headed to a gorgeous wonderland for an old fashioned thanksgiving... complete with a horse drawn sleigh ride, home cooked fixin's, games, crackling wood fire and sledding. my baby was scheduled to come four days later, and i felt kinship with the turkey in the oven... i put on a smiley face and soaked up the precious family time (bloated as i was)... but so grateful.

***

*cute cousins apparently watching something funny*

* Mischa and her nine fresh puppies*

*sledding exhilaration*

*entrepreneur leprechaun*

*francheska and guido...come to my soul*

*averting double-chinness while in preparation*

*food glorious food*

*the grown up table*

*my little helpful pixie*

*many hands make light work*

*one horse open sleigh*

*handsome manly wood gatherers and choppers...

especially the second one in on the left... sighhhhhh*

*thankful!*

Tiffs Number Seven

(i have a few moments in between nursing, folding laundry, and making gifts for the kids friends and teachers to catch up on some missed events from november... who am i kidding, there are no spare moments... but these past events are looming over me waiting to be documented, so on we go.)

***

my sassy red head sister tiffany had her seventh baby a couple months ago... yowzers... and the sister wives banded together with cheri as the ring leader to once again to throw a terrific shower.

***

i volunteered to make favors and fashioned some girly rosette pins and mounted them on cardstock to look like lollipops. i also made caramel apples which always equals out in me taking in a weeks worth of calories justified by the fact that they're coating a healthy fruit.

***

i feel so spoiled to have so many built-in girlfriends within the sisterhood that i've inherited through birth and marriage. i love my sisters so much. i treasure watching everyone as mothers (take your time cass:) and relishing in each of life's stages as they rear babies into toddlers and then into teens. we are all together in this journey and i am so lucky to share it with them.