really?

so much for symbols

it's snowing now

oh swear word

symbols

there was a large dark cloud hanging over our new house today. it started to rain. now the rain has turned to hail. the hail is rain again, and i suppose that too will stop soon. symbols. earthly trials roll in and roll out. sometimes with warning, sometimes unannounced.

*

just before we were supposed to jump in the car on friday to head back to utah to get one more load of things, tade got sick. we waited. he got sick again. we had to make the hard decision that i would stay with him, and chris would go with the two oldest kids and pack up alone. i felt guilty that he had to do all that work alone. that he was up all night finishing packing my silly things. i was sad for tade, and that i couldn't make him feel better. i took him outside bundled in a blanket for some fresh air, and i looked up at the sky in prayer. please help me have the strength to take care of him, please help him to heal, please help the rest of family to stay healthy.

*

i should know by now that life is not something you can script and plan. today is sunday and he is still sick, with what i don't know. this hail storm is lasting longer than usual, but i know that it has to end like it always does.

*

our yard is so beautiful when it rains. the branches are swaying, the colors are more vibrant when everything is wet. this rain is going to help things grow.

5SF Edition 32

FIVE SENSE FRIDAY

TASTING-

Trader Joe's

Meyer Lemon Cookie Thins

(obsessed)

SMELLING-

fresh spring Wheat Grass

FEELING-
inspired by this book...
The Mother In Me

SEEING-
art & photography by
Jesse Draper
www.flickr.com/photos/jessedraper/

HEARING-

U2

No Line On The Horizon

Au Revoir & Bonjour

there's so much i want to say about the last year,

this move,

our life,

the people,

the places...

where do I begin?

***

let's begin with the following picture.

it was taken while i sailed away in a brimming mini van on the route i have driven at least a hundred times, but this time it wasn't just a visit, it was a permanent move away from a place we had lived almost our entire marriage. i popped in a cd a friend gave me and tried to make sense of the mix of emotions i was feeling. this would be our tenth move. it would be so romantic to say that we've been running from the law, but i must claim that these changes were only due to a switch in job or needing more space for our growing family. after ten moves you'd think it would get easier, but while slowly moving up in the world we accumulate more stuff, more kids, and more to haul to the next abode. moving is like having growing pains, the interim is really the pits, but later you become a stronger person from them.

***

there are ups and downs in every story...

here is the latest chapter in

the chronicles of schofield

***

once upon a time there was a man and wife. they liked eachother a lot. somedays they bickered like old roommates, but usually they had the hots for eachother. the man liked nerdy stuff and manly machines, the wife liked making stuff, including kids. the man had great experience in the business and retail world but was soon given an opportunity by his father to join the world of builders. the man watched, listened, and learned, sometimes it was hard, sometimes it came easy, but all the while he was gaining skills needed to create his own homebuilding and development business. he was truly grateful for the opportunity given to him to learn a new trade and spread his wings. the man managed many a project, the wife managed the home. their building ventures led them to tooele where the man built his wife a beautiful palace. the palace had special touches, fanciful rooms, and plenty of room for their children to run and flounce about.

*

over time, the once thriving economy started slowing. people bit off more than they could chew, people made commitments they couldn't keep, people spent money they didn't have. soon the man found himself full of talents but nowhere to use them. the summer of 2008 brought a crossroads for the man and wife. they pondered over many choices, do we look elsewhere for work, do we ride out the wave, do we move our family again? with prayer and fervor the man took a job restoring barns in a land far away.

*

the wife was thankful for the grace but hoped her hunk would be back soon. many lonely nights were spent sleeping alone longing for the partriarch of the family to return. when the barn project came to a close, the market was still lingering somewhere in the burmuda triangle. the man told his wife of a permanent offer of a stable job that would bring fruit and nectar to their family. the only catch was that they would have to pick up and move to the far away place. once again grateful for the blessing, they agreed it was the best plan for their family.

*

for nine long months the man worked away from home while the wife made cookies with the kids and let the house get messy. they waited for their house to sell, and on the weekends the man saw his wife and their love story was rekindled. it's true that time apart makes the heart grow fonder. with man working hard to provide for the family, and wife being nurtured at home by loving friends in her solace, the clan refocused their life in realizing what matters most. they had faith that if they were patient, and kept doing "what was right"(staying out of debt, paying tithing, prayer, not selling their children to the gypsies) that the God that had always provided for them, would have something in store for them at his own time and place.

*

the house sold, and the man and wife began their search in the new land for a home. this time, they longed for something different than a palace in a neighborhood. they wanted a simple life in the country with a humble home and perhaps some chickens, sheep, and bee's (the wife's desires), oh, and a dog too (the man's desire). after searching about, the wife fell in love with a little jewel on a large stretch of land. the jewel must have shone in its day with peach accents of custom draperies and walls dripping in floral wallpapers, but she saw in this home abundant potential and charm. how surprising to her that it hadn't been snatched up yet. it was theirs. wrapping up details in selling this, and purchasing that, the man and wife finally brought closure to one chapter, and began a new one.

*

finally all under the same roof, the man and wife could sigh a deep breath of relief. with lessons learned, along come new ones... like how to keep the new dog from escaping out the secret passages in the fence, or how the wife can overcome having asthma attacks from the the allergies she's experiencing in her new home, or how to properly shut the 70's door so it doesn't pop back open, or where is that funky smell coming from, or how does well water and a septic tank work anyways? already, the man and wife have been overwhelmed with plates of cookies and cupcakes from friendly new neighbors who come to welcome them.

love abides strong in the country,

and the man and wife are together again and happy.

end scene.

***

"the loaders"

chris.jason.jason.phil

"the unloaders"

sadie.jeff.sarah.eliza.jason.mom.dad.trent.xavier.brittani.sam.man.wife

"the parting prizes"
thank you sweet ones,
i treasure you more than you know.

sass in ol' diego

get away,

relax,

reconnect,

reminisce,

find peace,

be better.

***

there are spare pockets of time in the years since our new life with a blended family that i've spent personal time with mother hen and all of my sisters at once. this is a struggle for me being the guilt prone person that i am, i have felt like the exclusion of our husbands, kids, or new sisters would overshadow the joy of being with those who know me best. but the reality is, we are blessed to have understanding families who realize that these moments are important, and that it's healthy for us to be able to visit the past and converse about painful and happy memories. our talks help me understand why i do the things i do, my faults and strengths, and how i have the choice to make my own happiness despite what others do around me.

*

i'm overwhelmed by the learning moments that always happen when i'm with my mother. she reminds me to be thankful, and SHOW my thankfulness through service, temple work, and sabbath worship. how easy it would have been to sleep in late and go shopping every morning instead of making the small sacrafice of going to the temple and sacrament meeting... i would have missed some very humbling and tender spiritual moments. she makes me want to be a better person, and isn't that what mom's are for? she leads by example, but also gives kind reminders when i'm off track. i know no matter my age, that i will always admire her...

she is an angel on earth.

*

sunshine. tableside guacamole. do you taste alcohol in this? i'm on my second wing. i stopped watching disney like four months ago when i got married. cuh cah. i'm aware that i may pass the veil. you have 50% chance of survival when you give birth. wait for it... remember the orange thermostat? french twins. painted toes under the curtain. turn the other leaf. you're winning me up. does it look squidy? i'm feeling it. see's. this is sooo you. who likes sushi? mmmmm. he got his breakfast out of the garbage. three layer hummus. blackberries. just let me think. you'll have to speak up. hide in the bathroom. picture the cowboy to the music. vampires. wait till you see her boyfriend. favorite things. the cinnamon bun is best. there really was no secret ingredient in the chocolate chip cookies was there? 3 cheers for sadie. i love that man. target. "l"as in laramie "d" as in danny "s" as in sissy. what do you want to do? you have no idea how excited i am. cheesecake factory. cpk. i don't think that's right. tropical tye dye's. wait for it... under or over. out of body experience. you look like you just woke up from a three hour nap. cobb salad. mom's favorite things. stop bouncing. tjmaxx. i know what you're getting wink wink. texting. are you ready to order:) calling. change the channel. i need to go again. your sister can see you. late night talks. trader joe's. don't judge. be thankful. love everyone. choose how to feel. the survivors club.

***

weekend sountrack

inspiration to create

tender morsels of love

i weep with gratitude for good friends...

okay maybe i don't weep,

but i get quite verklempt.

chuck e. cheese is class

oliver- "mom, do you know where chuck e. cheese's is at?

mom- "it's REALLY far away." pause "why, do you want to go there?"

oliver-"it’s for teaching kids manners and i haven’t learned my manners yet!"

oliver-"it's where you get really happy and we don't be mean and stuff."

mom- (in her head- not exactly son, it's where YOU are happy for about ten minutes until i tell you i'm not buying any more tokens, and I overpay for you to eat crappy pizza and play in a germ covered ball pit."

lets play would you rather...

would you rather be singing in a band or folding laundry?

would you rather be watching your toddler to keep him away from the markers or watching colin firth in a&e's pride and prejudice?

would you rather unpack your food to make a nutritious meal or unbutton you pants to fit into them after you eat fast food every night?

would you rather live in france or idaho?

would you rather do your dishes or holla at your friends on facebook?

would you rather listen to ella fitzgerald or mickey mouse clubhouse?

would you rather be stranded on an island with christian bale or lenny kravitz?

would you rather wear marc jacobs or old navy?

would you rather be stung by a bee or eat a worm?

would you rather pull weeds or watch them grow?

would you rather run on the treadmill or take a nap?

would you rather be sorting through paperwork or playing would you rather?

game over.

birthday dinner for the kids cuz's

happy birthdays to gracie and will!

now

STOP GROWING!!

gracie's cake and banner

will's cake and banner